The Virtues Of Life

Love, patience and forgiveness. The three fundamentals that are essential to the structural integrity of our human existence. A template for humanity's emotional design.  These three acts  have one very important thing in common, which most people unfortunately fail to grasp. And that is this: all three of these are acts of selflessness not selfishness.

Forgiveness is given to those who need it,  not those who deserve it.  It isn't earned or bargained for, it is given by the pure of heart as an act of kindness and mercy. The truly merciful act out of a belief  that is untainted by the wrongs that have been committed against them. A selfless heart remains unblemished even when scarred with grief, devastation, loss, and anger. Finding the strength to bestow forgiveness on the cruel, the weak, the wicked, and the generally misguided is the hardest task a soul can brave. Bestowing forgiveness, liberates us from all the dark tethers that other's have anchored to our souls. It gives us peace, and fills us with confidence in the knowledge that the courage inside ourselves is strong enough to guide us thru even the darkest of times.

Patience is about others needs as well. It's about understanding what those needs are, and doing your best to be sensitive to them. A rule of thumb with patience is that, if you're complaining about having to be patient, you aren't actually being patient. When you're pouring all your energy into being and providing the support someone you care for, or hope to care for truly needs, you can begin to see them in a different light, and perhaps even glimpse into their souls, piercing to their very core. In the end you can learn to grow and love together. Some people need longer than others to form opinions and make decisions, this doesn't reflect badly on you, it just means that said person probably has people whose wellbeing they also need to consider, especially when risk is involved. Demonstrating that you're capable of rising above your own needs for them, and for those that are important to them, is what patience is all about.

Love is the hardest of all because it requires so much patience and forgiveness.  And if you haven't mastered one or the other you will probably be facing many hardships.
Too often when we are in relationships or friendships our prime focus is how we are being benefited, how we are feeling. Loving someone because they make you feel good about you is not loving someone, it's loving yourself. If you find yourself always using 'I' or 'Me' statements, than your love is just that, 'Your' love. Singular self-focused thoughts such as; “You make ME smile, you make ME laugh, I want to see you every day” etc, rather than “I love the way YOU smile, YOU”RE so funny, YOU always light up a room” etc.   is a fair indicator of preoccupation with the nurturing of your own ego, and will quickly choke anything else that tries to grow. It is as they say,  you do have to love yourself before you can love others. The reason is because if you love yourself than you will not forever be seeking validation in the eyes of another, and then, for once you might actually be able to see someone for who they really are, and not just who YOU want or need them to be.